The Effect of Inter-marriage on children

I never knew that inter-marriage can cause problems for my children until they were about 8 or 9 years old.  My son came home one day and bombarded me with questions: What am I?  Am I a Singaporean or an Egyptian?  I don’t look either.  What is my race?  Why must we follow father’s race?  He looked upset.  Obviously his friends must have triggered all these queries in his young mind.

I tried to explain things in as simple as possible to him.  He understood, but apparently he felt lost.  He is neither here nor there – that’s what he said.  I wanted to tell him that there are many people like him all over the world.  I wanted to assure him that there is nothing wrong with being a mixed child, nor should he feel unwanted.  For one thing, I myself am mixed.  So are many of his cousins, aunts and uncles.  In fact, I feel proud and unique of being mixed.

See, my whole family including extended family and in-laws is made up of many different races and there’s a lot of intermarriages in my family alone.  Like I mentioned, I’m a little bit of Chinese, Indian and Malay.  I have 1 Arab sister-in-law, 1 Thai sister-in-law (but divorced) afterwhich the same brother married an Indonesian (presently now living in Indonesia) which makes 2 Indonesian sisters-in-law, 2 Malaysian Malays brothers-in-law, 2 Malaysian Malay sisters-in-law and 2 Pakistani brothers-in-law. (I have a really big family). I have a niece who married a Pakistani (again??) and a nephew who married an Indian.  My sister’s sister-in-law married a Belgian while another sister’s sister-in-law married an Austrian, now living in Korea.  And there’s me, married to an Egyptian, and now living in Egypt.  So I really don’t see why my son is feeling left out or feeling sour of being mixed.  It doesn’t matter where you stay or what your race is.  What matters is what is inside one’s heart.  What matters is a person’s morality, values, ethics, attitude and behavior.

At age 20, my son still makes comments on how his nose is so ‘Jewish’ (yes, his Egyptian father has some Jewish ancestors) or how so unEgyptian he is.  I reiterated my words to him that each one of us is unique in our own different ways.  We shouldn’t admire one race over another or try to follow others just because we think their race is better.  There is no one better race.  There is not even a such thing as pure race.  Those are the words of Bill Nye and many anthropologists, sociologists, and other scientists.

http://bigthink.com/words-of-wisdom/bill-nye-theres-no-such-thing-as-race

Everybody is a mix of something.  Our ancestors travel a lot too.  They got into intermarriages too.  So, how can you be so sure that you are a true Chinese or American or German or British or Emirati?  You can’t.

Please watch this beautiful video.  Hope it opens up your mind.  It makes me tear every time.

 

 

Admire

4 thoughts on “The Effect of Inter-marriage on children”

  1. Wow you live a beautiful country, it’s the country that I dream to visit one day, me too am mixed, Chinese, white and African origins and I married an Hindu, which makes my sons, 100 percent pure mixed blood. But I have the chance of living in a multi cultural country.

    The video you have posted is really emotional, I think that some of ‘the people’ out there should be submitted to genetic test.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah. I would really like to send these people for the genetic tests. I’m sure the results would be shocking.
      Thank you for introducing your family. I’m sure my son would be glad to know that there are many others like him.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Was very interested to read your post. I am in an inter-racial marriage, but we don’t have kids yet. My husband is Pakistani (born and raised there) and I am American (mix of Native American, Irish, and who knows what else!) We do face some discrimination when we are out and about together, but I can handle whatever stupidity comes my way. I do worry how I will teach my future children about this when the time comes. I want them to be proud of who they are and not take nonsense from anyone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for introducing yourself. Guess we are almost the same. I personally don’t face any discrimination but my husband did when he was in my country because of the stigma related to Arabs. But he’s very good at handling stupidity like yourself and he survived staying in my country for 15 years. My kids on the other hand had some problems but they were good at managing it too. Your last sentence should be your guiding principle in teaching your kids. My husband used that principle and I believe that helped them in facing their ‘bullies’ although they whine to me at home. So stick to that. Teach your kids to be brave and strong mentally and psychologically and everything should be okay. One reminder is not to associate bravery with violence. They are two different things.

      Cheers and thanks for reading.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s