Death and Grief

My cousin had been married for almost 20 years but was not blessed with a child.  At the age of forty plus, her husband met a twenty-something girl at work, apparently fell in love and wanted to marry her. He gave my cousin the reason that he wanted a child of his own and since my cousin couldn’t give him, as a Muslim, he has the right to marry a second wife.  He didn’t want to divorce her because he still loved her but my cousin couldn’t accept the fact that she is going to share her husband with another woman, so she opted for divorce.

However, it was a traumatic experience for her.  After having married for 20 years, she couldn’t carry on a normal life without a husband.  She returned to her parents’ house and stayed over.  When she was not at work, she’d spend her days locked up in her room and cried herself to sleep.  She refused any social gatherings or going out with friends and relatives.

Weeks later, she announced to her parents that she had found a man and they would like to get married.  Her parents were concerned because she knew this man for only a short while and they were apprehensive.  But due to her insistence, and hoping that her life would change, her parents gave their blessings.  But months later, the man proved himself to be a compulsive gambler and a thief.  She lost all her jewelry and she caught him many times stealing money from her wallet. She filed for divorce.

She went back to her normal routine, crying herself to sleep in her room at her parents’ home.  Months later, she brought home another man and told her parents that she’d like to get married again.  But this time her parents put their foot down and advised her to think carefully and to wait for some time until she is very sure.  Praise be to God that she followed their advice.  She found out later that this guy is unemployed and is a drug addict and like the first one, always asked money from her.

Time passed by slowly but my cousin never got over her first husband.  She still cried intermittently and kept to herself most of the time.  A year and half later, she got to know a Malaysian man and after a brief courtship, they decided to get married. After meeting him a few times, her parents believed he is a good man and gave their blessings one more time.

They lived in a neighboring country, Malaysia, just across the border but she still went to work in Singapore.  It was a happy 2-year marriage for them and we were so glad that she found the right companion finally.  But things took a profound turn in April 2016.  Her new husband died in a motorcycle accident in Malaysia.  It was really a trying time for her and our family.  We couldn’t conceive the profound remorse and suffering that she was going through.  The whole family banded together to give her as much support as we could but it was nothing compared to her own pain and grief.  Up till now, my sister would text me and tell me how she is still grieving over the loss of her husband in the accident and how she would even cry at work and had to be pacified by colleagues and friends.

There is nothing much that I could do.  Being away from family is already a big test for me.  I feel her profound pain.  And I could only pray to God that HE would lift her sufferings and comfort her in HIS own mysterious ways.

Profound

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